This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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