Did you just see the Batmobile???
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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