First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
