I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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