i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
