Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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