Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
