"it" just moved
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
