he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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