doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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