that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
