So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
