I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize