they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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