just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
