i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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