I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Operation Purity has been aborted
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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