she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
