Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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