I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
