Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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