is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
