It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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