Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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