to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
