I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
