You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
