I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize