This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
