So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
