My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
sex in a hospital.. check
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
