ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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