i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
be right there i have to get my cape
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
