i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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