those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
