I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize