if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
