I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
