At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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