I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
