Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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