oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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