VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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