Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
