i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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