My first STD was from a foam party
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
