in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
