either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
