Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
