he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
