he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
