this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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