Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
