He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
