I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Randomize
