I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
