i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
