I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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