Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
