i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They took my balls.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize